Why Not? & What If?

Christmas Special 1: Christmas Party Survival Guide: 10 Tips to Keep Your Job (and Your Dignity)

• Season 2 • Episode 7

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It’s the first of our three-part Christmas mini-series — and we’re starting with the one everyone thinks they already knows: how to survive the work Christmas party.

Andy and Siobhán share a “top 10 (plus a few)” set of common-sense rules for employees (and partners) that keeps the night fun… without it turning into a disciplinary, a PR disaster, or a proper horror story. We cover why a Christmas party still counts as a work event, the risks that come with booze (including the open bar Olympics), why “dancing on tables” can have real-world consequences, and the modern minefield of phones, photos, and sharing things that should never leave the room.

There’s also a brutally practical section on getting home safely (don’t “rely on vibes”), plus a few tales that preview what’s coming in our final Christmas Eve episode: anonymous stories of Christmas parties that went wildly off-piste. 

Got a story or a view? Email letstalk@whynotwhatif.com
— we might do a follow-up episode with your takes.

Siobhan:

Welcome to Why Not and What If. And I'm Chivon Gotham. An HL consultant, coach, and the one who listens through the noise to what really matters. Think of me as the calm to Andy's creative storm. Holly. This is Andy Kracknell, creative whirlwind, destructor of dull thinking, and allergic to doing things the usual way.

Andy:

Thanks, Jibon. I'm also a marketing and communications consultant.

Siobhan:

And this is the podcast where we explore the messy, magical intersection of life, work, leadership, and all the bits we're not supposed to talk about. Let's get into it.

Andy:

Right, Gibbon, here we go. A Christmas special for the professional world of people and and also for HR as well. So we're doing a mini-series, which are three podcasts leading up to Christmas, which are rather timely for this time of year, aren't they?

Siobhan:

They are.

Andy:

So we're going to do these three. So this one is the top 10 list bits of advice for employees attending the Christmas party. Things they need to think about, watch out for, and maybe could also be seen as a bit of support when it comes to the common sense approach. And then the next one will be the top. Well no, it's not a top ten or top five. It's some general advice for HR peeps and how to get around the perception that people hold of HR, and historically that included me. And then the final one, which will be out on Wednesday, the 24th, which is Christmas Eve, it will be a podcast where we share some anonymised stories of things that have happened at Christmas parties.

Siobhan:

There's some orders in there.

Andy:

There's some goodness. Right. So let's kick off with the uh the the top 10 bits of advice for uh employees attending a Christmas party. And also, actually, we probably should factor in their partners and loved ones because occasionally their loved their partners and loved ones get invited to these things as well. So I'm gonna kick this one off by saying just remember that the Christmas party is not a hundred percent social and there is expected behaviour and rules and legalities about it. So let's kick off with the first piece of advice. I'll tell you what you recently wrote an email invite to a client's employees inviting them to the Christmas party. Can we share that and we'll pin it round the Yeah. Okay, do you want to read that one out?

Siobhan:

I'll read it out. So this is a client of mine, and they're quite young in terms of the employee base, so their Christmas du's can get quite rawers, and also the oh no, adults, the grown-ups in it, are salespeople as well. I mean, we know that salespeople, as a massive generalization, do like a bit of a drink. So, but and we'll touch on this in the next one about HR's perception in these in these scenarios, but it's a really tough balance, right? Between you want everyone to have genuinely have fun, and we want everyone to bond and have a good time and let their hair down because they've been working really hard all year. But don't go mad. So in this email, I opened up with uh right, so before you descend on the venue, like a herd of overexcited reindeer, a quick word on behavior, the fun kind, not that Siobhan from HR wants a quiet word on Monday kind. Because nobody wants that invite, me especially do not want to be sending it. Honestly, it's the worst part of the job. So please don't put me through it, if nothing else. Don't do it to me. Um, so yeah, so it's remembering that you are still with work colleagues, and there is still, you know, even when you're out with your mates or your family, you don't want to get yourself in these tricky situations, but even more so when you're representing a company out in public as well. I have had companies get banned from venues and things like that, which isn't that great for PR. So remember what remember who you're out with, I think, is is the first one.

Andy:

On that note, I used to work for a company, a very large business, and two consecutive years they had their Christmas party at the same venue. And after the first year, there was a debate as to whether they would be banned. They begged for forgiveness. We went back the following year, and then we were absolutely banned after that. I will share more in the The Nightmare at Christmas podcast.

Siobhan:

Yeah, I think I can't imagine there's any HR pros in my network who at some point haven't worked for an employer that has been banned from a venue somewhere.

Andy:

Uh just on your first point where you're talking about just remember that you're in a professional setting. Just very, very quickly, where where do things sit in terms of the law on this stuff, if there is any law around it? Because under employment law, it's a works event, isn't it? So technically, technically, drinking's not even allowed.

Siobhan:

Well, and I did actually work for an employer a few years ago that banned alcohol at any works do. And the reason for that actually is a bit of a sad one because there was an employee, not in the UK, but they drank drank drunk drove. Is that the phrase? Drunk drove, and they actually had a nasty accident, and people so as a response of that, there was an a blanket ban on any alcohol. Interestingly, they've now stopped that ban because this was a number of years ago now, this was probably about 15 years ago. And interestingly, that incident happened in the US. It's a European company where that happened in the US, and the Europeans were a bit like, do you know what? You're you're kind of ruining it for everyone because I think societally it was more acceptable in an inverted commerce to drink drive in America than it is in Europe. Europe, we very people do it, but it's quite extreme, and we could probably like a drink more in Europe than they do in the US. So it was a bit like, yeah, we're all being punished for for this one occasion. And actually, there is alcohol now at at events, but it's that line of it it's well and one of the other things I put in my email about is about getting home safely. And if you're relying on vibes, then then check your check yourself out. You know, what what check your life choices? Is this a sensible thing to do? And actually, that was one of the things that especially the big companies that have the budget, they actually put on a hotel. They did it in a hotel, so it meant that there was safety involved and that everyone nobody had to travel home. Now, with that comes other issues that we're gonna talk about in the horror, in the horror spirit. But but you're absolutely right, there is an obligation from organisations and with in the UK, especially with the sexual harassment law coming in, there is a duty on employers to create a safe environment. And that would involve things like making sure that there's no kind of no anyone feels uncomfortable or anything happens when lots of alcohol is flowing and stuff like that. So, yeah, there is a there is a responsibility.

Andy:

Yeah, and it's it's I think the key problem there is alcohol, isn't it? Because when people are in the office, you know, they they for the most tend to behave themselves, but when they're under the influence and they're out and about, in inhibitions get let go of and all the rest of it, so it it does create some uncomfortable and awkward, difficult, nasty situations for people, which just isn't right at all anywhere in society, but you know, especially not in an employment space where you're supposed to be feel safe at work. There are insurance implications as well, aren't there? Because I think you made a reference jokingly to dancing on tables which isn't covered by the insurance.

Siobhan:

Yeah, so I thought dancing is strongly encouraged, but trying to recreate the dirty dancing lift after a few prosecos, discouraged because you know, if they're then off sick, for example, a lot of sick policies will say if it's self-inflicted, we might not pay you company sick pay. I've actually never enforced that, to be fair, but you could enforce it. So, you know, breaking a leg because you are you're trying to do some ducks dance moves whilst paralytic at a Christmas do is isn't again, there's all sorts of intercussions from an insurance perspective. Our insurance doesn't cover that. Probably the insurance of the venue doesn't cover it either. And are we gonna come are we actually gonna pay you for any sick pay if it means you can't come into the office anymore because you've done yourself with damage?

Andy:

And if you do yourself real nasty damage and it's a longer-term absence that can have real ramifications on, yeah, which is not good. Go on, what was the next bit?

Siobhan:

So the other things that we talked about was so going back to the drinking element, alcohol is optional. People think it's a it's a compulsory thing, and it's like it it almost becomes an Olympic sport. And I think there's a combination between the fact that the alcohol is flowing. If a company does have an open bar, for example, it's as that is an absolute nightmare. I don't I've worked for companies where they might give you like two free drinks, yeah, which is a which is a bit better, but again, it fuzzies the the responsibility bit. It's like, what is it's is it our fault if you end up getting drunk?

Andy:

Well, the other thing there is the fact that different people have different levels of alcohol tolerance. If I have two drinks, it doesn't matter what they are, I'm flawed. I'm such a lightweight.

Siobhan:

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, it's exactly so so there's that. And I think as well, it's it's it's like that people go a bit mad at Christmas, don't they? It's a bit like when you go abroad on holiday. For some reason, you figure, oh, the rules don't apply anymore because I'm on holiday. And it's the same at Christmas. The rules don't apply anymore because it's Christmas, it's and and you hear it from like probably the end of November now. It used to be December. Oh, go on then, it's Christmas. People say, Oh, go on then it's Christmas. That's always and that and it's lovely and it's fun, but it becomes it can become a bit of an Olympic sport. Now I've worked a lot with salespeople and probably the younger generation do see it as a bit of a competition with the drinking, especially with salespeople, actually. It's almost like it's a badge of honour, like how long you can last.

Andy:

Last one standing at the bar.

Siobhan:

Last one standing, yeah. Who's the who's the last one? Yeah.

Andy:

So that's or who can drink the bar dry.

Siobhan:

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It does become a bit of a competition.

Andy:

So that would let's just remind me of something. This is 20 20 years ago? 25 years ago, I worked for a tour operator, and there was a bar, they they got a marquee with a mobile bar come to the it was a grade one listed building that the office was in, and they did it, did it all in the grounds of the thing. Anyway, the the the director who organized it all was not popular. He was one of those people who thought he was really popular, he was a bit of a geezer, and but nobody actually liked him. And the sales team, funnily enough, yeah, which I of which I was not part of, had a a bet going on as to who would be who would drink the most from the bar. And then there was a collective thing with the manager of sales that if they drank the bar dry, they would each get a thousand pound bonus.

Siobhan:

What?

Andy:

Because the person who was paying for it was the director on his own credit card.

Siobhan:

Oh, let's see.

Andy:

I don't know what the upshot of that was.

Siobhan:

All I know is they didn't hang around to find out.

Andy:

Well, yeah, but uh all I know is that at the end of the night there were most of the sales team were passed out at various positions all around the marquee and in the grounds. Actually, I even found one of them in a bush. He passed out in the bush, he'd fallen over into this bush and just passed out. It was hilarious. Yeah.

Siobhan:

Well, when you can't get out of it, I might have been there, maybe. Maybe not. Well, maybe how Christmas do actually ending up in a bush. It's really hard to get out of a bush when you're drunk. So just stay there and have a nap.

Andy:

Yeah, just just stay there, have a nap. Get your bearings, just rest your eyes for a minute, and then yeah.

Siobhan:

We talked about the dancing uh phones, so that's another another thing nowadays. So use your phones responsibly. So, you know, posting flattering pictures of colleagues is absolutely lovely. You know, you're all dressed up, and especially at the beginning of the night, do that, share it on LinkedIn and social media, absolutely great. But then posting videos of colleagues doing questionable things, yeah, avoid that because when you in the cold light of day, you might upset somebody, you might expose people to things they should they shouldn't have been exposed to, and then it's then you're down the realms of bullying, harassment, uh sexual harassment, sexual harassment, all sorts of harass all the harassments. Yeah, so think about uh using your phones uh responsibly.

Andy:

Yeah, so you've just triggered a thought because there's another element of this which which is also thankfully not the mate not the majority, but you still have to remember you're a civil a citizen of society, so criminal law also applies. Yeah. And there was an incident a number of years ago where a guy had hooked up with one of his female colleagues and filmed what they did in the hotel room. And then the following day in work he shared the video with a couple of his closest mates on the team. Now, under any circumstance that's not acceptable. Criminal law is the it's not revenge porn. What's it called? It's there's well, there's various acts of criminal law that cover it to do with electronic communications, and then there's various bits of porn legislation and new stuff that's come in. Aside from the fact that it's just morally bankrupt doing something like that, but it cost him his job. Yeah, it was you know, and rightly so, because that also meant that the individual, the female involved in the situation, was so ashamed of what happened that she ended up having to leave as well. Yeah, which was really sad. So there can be some really big consequences to moments of stupidity and in that case moments of downright moral bankruptcy. But yeah, so just remember criminal law applies as well.

Siobhan:

Yeah, absolutely. So take lovely photos or videos, maybe at the beginning of the night, yeah, but be whatever you don't want to be shared about you, don't share it about other people, I think is always the the benchmark for those things.

Andy:

There's a general rule of thumb, if I'm doing a Christmas company events photo shoot, so as a photographer, I'll go in and shoot company events. I only ever shoot for the first two hours and then I leave. There's no point because beyond that, people are hammered, they don't look great. And and and you you don't want to be sending the client a handful of photographs of people when they see those pictures going, Oh my god, look at the state of me. So yeah, it's it's it's a generic rule of thumb. Just think.

Siobhan:

Especially if it's a senior person, like the MD or the chief HR officer, or wherever it might be. It can be really funny when you see them completely off their face. Now, quite often in most Christmas dues that I go to, the MD, CEO, whoever, if they do go, and usually the HR person tends to make a quiet exit for our own safety apart from anything else, because we don't have and we touched on this before, but what people a lot of people probably don't realise is through my career, my 20 odd years in HR, there's always been the official company Christmas do and then an unofficial HR one. And people probably don't realise we do that, but in the HR one, we can be, and actually the HR Christmas do traditionally tends to be more close to Easter because it's we're so blimmin busy all the time, we we can never get it in. But in the Q1 of the next year, we'll have our Christmas do where we can safely talk about stuff because everything we do is confidential, so the only other people we can talk to is other HR people, and we can let our hair down without worrying about anyone else seeing us and being in a safe space.

Andy:

Yeah, yeah. It's uh I think I mean it goes it it kind of goes hand in hand, doesn't it? Because there's this is something else we're gonna talk about in the other in the HR podcast. So this is obviously the one for employees in the one for HR, we're gonna be talking about the perception that employees have that HR are police. Yeah. And there's some interesting stories in that one.

Siobhan:

Yeah, okay.

Andy:

So go on, what's the next one in your email?

Siobhan:

Uh respect. Remember that we're all adults and we all have to respect each other, and that applies even when Mariah Carey comes on and everyone floods the dance floor and starts singing their hearts out. Respect. We are we are supposed to be grown-ups, even though sometimes we don't feel like it. Even if you are just it is your first job straight from school, you are now technically an adult. And that also goes for the 50 plus age group. I do probably in sales, they are also adults.

Andy:

Yes, sales, put your act together.

Siobhan:

Yeah, sorry, sales. I'm giving you giving you a bad rep here. There are other professions that are just as fun, hopefully.

Andy:

And and and uh and yeah, I mean it's a bit tug-in-cheek, isn't it? But sales are mainly recruited for their competitiveness, and when you put people in a social environment who are naturally competitive, it always gets interesting. Okay, and then so yeah, so respect is obviously mandatory. I think that's kind of a common sense approach, but as I hinted at at the beginning, it seems that Christmas common sense goes out the window, so it's always good to get a reminder in. Go on on the next one.

Siobhan:

Getting home safely. So if you're relying on vibes to get home, then rethink your life choices. So plan your journey in advance. As I said, some employers have taken out that responsible. Some I mean, I've been to ones where they've either bought out the hotel for the night so there's rooms available, or they put on a coach sometimes as well, which again has another whole other thing of people throwing up in coaches. So again, insurance sometimes means that employees are like, No, we're not even going there. So, but just plan your journey, you know, pre book a taxi, get somebody to pick you up, whatever it might be. Do not drive, and do not rely on, oh, we'll figure it out at the time because we know what it's like. in December. It's mad out there. So plan your route accordingly. We want everyone to turn up at work safely on Monday with their dignity intact.

Andy:

You've uh you've touched on something there around driving and stuff. And it kind of goes back to what we were saying earlier about criminal law. But the but uh what a lot of people don't think about especially with driving and transport is that if worst case scenario you get hammered get in a car and drive home and you get done for drink driving it's not just the criminal prosecution you're going to face that is going to affect your employment. Yeah.

Siobhan:

Yeah absolutely especially if you need to drive on with for business as well.

Andy:

Yeah exactly which also side note my only one for this podcast is that you need to check that your car insurance is valid if you're driving to a different venue for work. Because some insurance policies in their commuting that's commuting to and from one place of work. Now if you're using your car for work purposes so you're going around picking your colleagues up from their houses and then taking them to the venue technically that's not covered. So you would be driving without insurance so that's something you need to be aware of.

Siobhan:

That could be the same for carpooling then on a normal office day.

Andy:

Yeah. No wait a minute no it's not because you're going to the same place of employment. Oh okay okay so if you're picking other people up yeah if you're picking other people up and but you're going to the same place of employment that's still covered there is there is something around carpooling I'm I'm not going to give I don't want to give the wrong information out but there is something about carpooling you need to be quite careful about it's generally not a problem because it's not for hire or reward but just you just need to double check. I don't think it's a problem but what but it becomes a problem when you're going to a different place. So if you're not going to your normal place of work and you have social domestic pleasure and commuting the commuting bit normally is to one fixed place of work and you might say yeah but they're not going to know believe me they will find out because it the insurer will find out because if it's an a situation where you've got two of your colleagues in the car and they're injured and it's at seven o'clock on a set on a Friday night and you're in an accident and they get hurt because they are injured parties questions will be asked of them where were you going? What were you doing? Oh we were going to the works company do or this and that's when the insurance will turn around and go no we're not paying out you're not covered so yeah be careful sorry to sidetrack but in important yeah yeah that's a good tip question though what does relying on vibes mean?

Siobhan:

Because I'm of the older ilk and I older ilk just like just you know oh it all will be fine when you just like a taxi will rock up or somebody will give me a lift you know that kind of then you just reminded me of oh dear I did that one year middle of winter just outside Bristol.

Andy:

Yeah it was it was a hotel and I lived two miles from the hotel and I thought I'll get a cab it'll be alright I'll just rely on vibes. Yeah yeah should have rethought my life choices and wasn't able to get a taxi it was chocolate block taxi wait time was two or three hours it was one o'clock in the morning it was minus five outside so in a thin white long sleeve shirt and suit trousers in minus five I thought oh no it'll be fine I'll walk home so I started to walk home down a country lane stepped up onto the verge to get out the way of a car coming the other way fell six foot into a ditch of ice cold water that was about three foot deep and then I had to walk home the remaining mile of a half mile and a half soaked through to the skin minus five and I was ill for days yes I bet you were ill for days we made it home that is the main thing but that is a very very good point. I spoke it up quite quick.

Siobhan:

Yeah I bet you did I spar but it's true and I've I've I've been there as well where you know December's mad December is absolutely mad the taxis are fully booked everyone's emptying out at the same time so you know don't risk it.

Andy:

That's it that's it okay and then do we have any more tips?

Siobhan:

Any more tips. I think if you've that colleague that you've had a crush on for the last two years or wherever long just because you're out in a social setting maybe read the room I think that's the answer to everything. Just read the room yes yes I'm gonna say think things through before doing anything.

Andy:

I'm gonna stay very very quiet on that one. Yes that's I just so shall I go there you go okay so that's your well I don't know how many it was in the end but your top ten plus a few maybe list for employees if you're attending a Christmas party just bear the above in mind and it should go off without too many problems. But uh whatever you're doing and wherever you're going be safe be careful and just use a bit of common sense common sense and have fun. Well that's it for this episode of why not on what if where the conversations get messy magical and a little bit rebellious if it made you think laugh or rage text you mate job done that's what we're here for a topic you think we should dive into line let's talk why not what if dot com seriously your ideas feel discount don't forget to follow subscribe channel what's up linked in and come back next week for more to be on notification updated and always commentations. See you next time

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Andy Cracknell

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Siobhan Godden

Co-host